i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
