i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
