Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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