3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
