I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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