We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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