weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
