Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
