yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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