They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
i dont even know how to be here
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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