We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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