He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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