I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
