Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
