I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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