it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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