I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i wish my penis had a tongue
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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