Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Randomize
