hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
