I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
