I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
