I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
and she was petting her beer can
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
