Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
