No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked