I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize