Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
