I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
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