You're my little dorito
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
