Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
the day after is always just damage control
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Randomize
