Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Randomize
