i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Randomize