So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
