so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
