i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
We have so much sex to catch up on
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
