I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
