I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
