I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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