New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
