What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
