planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
We need to rekindle our bromance
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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