is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
