We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
