just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
