you traded sex for a burrito?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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