i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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