Texts From Last Night

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  (408): View more from California

  man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"

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  (408): man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt" http://tfl.nu/3qgn
  Replies (22) Good night (889) Bad night (3316)
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  (650): View more from California

  i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.

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  (650): i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family. http://tfl.nu/mjvo
  Replies (19) Good night (6326) Bad night (640)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?

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  (203): I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me? http://tfl.nu/jc3e
  Replies (7) Good night (997) Bad night (4013)
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  (559): View more from California

  today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.

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  (559): today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus. http://tfl.nu/murq
  Replies (73) Good night (1155) Bad night (4348)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE

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  (206): No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE http://tfl.nu/0vv1
  Replies (71) Good night (5675) Bad night (1303)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday

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  (313): is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday http://tfl.nu/9ppn
  Replies (6) Good night (3610) Bad night (796)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed

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  (972): I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed http://tfl.nu/xlf6
  Replies (8) Good night (3844) Bad night (1106)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous

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  (519): Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous http://tfl.nu/zfcd
  Replies (10) Good night (5012) Bad night (983)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  she could've warned me his penis was curved

  (708): View more from Illinois

  ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.

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  (630): she could've warned me his penis was curved (708): ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend. http://tfl.nu/vp5d
  Replies (14) Good night (1756) Bad night (4723)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.

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  (312): He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now. http://tfl.nu/rrnv
  Replies (3) Good night (1868) Bad night (702)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.

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  (719): As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF. http://tfl.nu/ti4u
  Replies (3) Good night (1264) Bad night (642)
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  (631): View more from New York

  he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him

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  (631): he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him http://tfl.nu/2wji
  Replies (15) Good night (2158) Bad night (1087)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.

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  (773): I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened. http://tfl.nu/5hv3
  Replies (11) Good night (1269) Bad night (460)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest

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  (402): Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest http://tfl.nu/bslf
  Replies (0) Good night (476) Bad night (278)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  nobody was home so I boiled the dildo

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  (413): nobody was home so I boiled the dildo http://tfl.nu/brzp
  Replies (8) Good night (469) Bad night (276)

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