Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.