Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
