I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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