It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
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