I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
