this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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