dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
