I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
