Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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