The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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