I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Randomize
