Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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