I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
