Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Randomize
