Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
