Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I wish they made helmets for livers.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
