she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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