i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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