i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
