my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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