so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
