This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
