I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
